Traveling is an essential part of life that brings about numerous benefits. It offers a chance to explore new places, learn about different cultures, and gain a new perspective on life. Whether it’s a solo trip, a family vacation, or a romantic getaway, traveling allows us to disconnect from our daily routine and immerse ourselves in new experiences. It broadens our horizons, challenges our beliefs, and helps us grow. In a world where stress and anxiety prevail, traveling provides an opportunity to rejuvenate and unwind. It’s no wonder why people say that traveling is the only thing you can buy that makes you richer.
I have had the opportunity to travel and see incredible places. When people ask me how I built the confidence to pack up and live in multiple countries? They do not know I have always lived in countries that did not belong to me. I was born a nomad, an expat, an exile. Although I have struggled to construct my identity because of the politics of belonging, I embrace my life as a nomad these days. I love being from nowhere and everywhere at the same time. Whereas I saw my in-between status as a burden, today, I reap the benefit of many communities I have made that have allowed me to have a family. Life as a nomad has provided advantages and challenges to my personal and professional growth. Here are the five valuable life lessons I acquired from my traveling experiences.
Personal Background
Before discussing the life lessons traveling have provided, here is a little background about my life as a nomad. I was born during the war. Because of it, my family moved from place to place. By the time I started speaking, I had four native languages. Where I grew up, there were people of different nationalities, cultures, and languages. As parents were trying to figure out how to get their families out of the difficulties of being an expat, kids were exchanging cultures, learning each other’s languages, and adapting to new traditions and customs. I was Congolese, Nigerian, Togolese, Beninese ect… I spoke French, Lingala, Swahili, and Fon. I knew a few words in Igbo and Yoruba as well. Living in this multicultural setting is all I knew. I enjoyed having a diverse community. Learning a new language became second nature. I did not recognize I was a nomad because life outside of my native country was what I knew. Then we moved to the United States.
When we traveled to the United States, I knew I would be a foreigner for the rest of my life. I also expected to make the United States my forever home. After moving to the U.S. and growing up in the U.S., the two competing sentiments remained, producing many challenges to my identity construction. I am American; I am also a foreigner. The two labels are interchangeable because being an American means one is a foreigner. To me, America is not a person but an ideal. As I travel the world, I see why coming to America is the best country for someone with a multicultural upbringing like me. My integration into the United States gave me the blueprint to embrace the adventures. It also taught me how to overcome the challenges one may face when traveling for vacation, study, or work. Here are the lessons my American story taught me and how these skills have helped me travel and integrate into different countries.
- Choose Integration over Assimilation
Wherever you are traveling, you wonder how you should act. Should you assimilate into the culture or integrate it? Some people do not know the difference. Assimilation is “the process of taking in and fully understanding information or ideas.” Integration, according to Oxford Dictionary, is “combining (one thing) with another so that they become a whole” or “bringing (people or groups with particular characteristics or needs) into equal participation in or membership of a social group or institutions.”
Most people feel that they should assimilate into another country’s culture to show respect for that culture. “When in Rome, do as the Romans do,” they say. However, people should not have to lose their identities to fit into a new culture. I’ve witnessed people throw their native countries under the bus to bold themselves into the visiting country’s narratives. As a teacher, I sometimes see students from poorer countries talk down about their native lands to participate in the American discourse. That is the problem of assimilation. Assimilation asks that you lose a part of yourself to become something else.
I have struggled with the assimilation narrative. People have asked me, directly and indirectly, to choose between my identity as an American, an African, a Congolese, or an immigrant. An English politician once asked which team an immigrant would support during a football(soccer) match. Should the US play against the Congo, what team would I root for? Such a predicament puts the individual in a precarious position. As immigrants, there are feelings that we should be grateful to come to countries like the U.S. or France. But in that effort to show gratitude, should we abandon the places we originate from? Proponents of assimilation think the answer is yes. However, my experiences have taught me integration is better than assimilation.
Integration welcomes you to add your identity to the community’s identity. When you strive to integrate, you recognize that you have value to add. My trip to China was a big cultural adjustment. Chinese culture is the most unknown to me as an African American. My integration measures include learning Chinese, becoming accustomed to their food, and societal expectation of living. However, I did so without losing my Americanness. The locals were impressed to see a Black American young woman speak Chinese and interact with the culture the way I did. They understood that my speaking Chinese did not make me less American. Instead, they saw that Americans enjoy learning new languages. Americans are interested in other cultures and willing to immerse themselves in them.
Being myself and presenting myself as an American who can mix my culture with that of the Chinese demonstrated a value I can add to the common good in China. My foreignness can bring a new perspective, and my cultural awareness can introduce others to Americans they never knew. That is true for any country. When I moved to the U.S., it was crucial for my family that I do not lose my Africanness. To preserve my Congolese culture, I not only kept up with my native language but I introduced my friends to my culture. In doing so, I integrated my Africanness into my Americanness and vice versa.
- There are Problems Everywhere
One of the reasons why people love to travel is to escape their realities. I, for one, booked a flight because I was depressed and wanted to feel good. Traveling is a great way to decompress. The ability to escape the reality of your current life to the sight of the Eiffel Tower, the Colosseum, or the idyllic city of Bruge is a good trade-off. However, it is vital to know that these feelings are temporary. Although traveling does help ease the mind and give you a distraction, if your goal is to escape your current life to look for something better, traveling can sometimes not be the best solution. Why? Because there are problems everywhere.
In 2018, I lived in France for an academic year. As a foreigner, I lived the tourist lifestyle. I had dinner a few feet away from the Eiffel Tower, ate ice cream at the French Riviera, and ran on the Champs Elysee. While I was doing all that, there were massive protests nationwide. The Yellow Vest protest overtook Europe. I was stuck in Paris and missed my train to Rennes, where I was living. One day, I took time off of my tourist life to listen to the complaints of the locals. Listening to them showed me that there are problems everywhere. While I was in their country looking for an escape, they were seeking somewhere else to escape the realities of their lives. That realization taught me that traveling should not be used to mask pain. Sometimes, if you plan to travel to escape your reality because you think the grass is greener on the other side, you must first deal with the problem you must solve.
- We All Share A Common Denominator
Some people do not like to travel to certain places because they feel that they cannot connect to anyone. Because it is human nature to fear what we do not know, we tend to shy away from places with incredible history and magical places. When I was preparing for the trip to China, people told me that China was not friendly to Black and Brown people. Friends and family would send me news articles on the cultural attitudes towards foreigners, especially foreigners of color.
Before traveling to China, I was studying Chinese in college. Chinese was one of my majors. Therefore, I was familiar with Chinese culture. I learned how to make dumplings. I had a good level of the Chinese language before going to China. However, reading some news articles affected whether or not I wanted to go to China. As I boarded the plane, I received an alert on my phone about human harvesting in China that made me want to turn around and miss my flight.
However, I did not. I ended up going to Shanghai. When I look back at my experience in Shanghai, to think I was going to pass on the opportunity makes me sad. I credit my trip to China as the defining moment of my early 20s. Being in a country and culture so different from my own and navigating through it helped me build confidence in my personal and professional life. I met some of the loveliest people and had such a magical experience which I detail in my previous blog post.
My experience in China taught me that we all share a common denominator. We can connect with people based on ethnicity, shared history, similarities, hobbies, and languages. Regardless of how foreign a country or culture is to yours, we all have at least one common denominator. In France, I shared a common language with the locals. In Belgium, I shared a common history with the locals. While in Spain, I connected with people through my love of football(soccer). On my recent trip to Italy, I connected with the locals through my love of history and architecture. The locals were happy to show me around and introduced me to art galleries and things I could do in Milan and Rome. Wherever I have been, I have always shared a common denominator with someone enabling me to build many communities.
- Community building Starts With Defining Who You Are
Community building is something that every human being seeks. An African proverb says, “A child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth.” This proverb illustrates the importance a community has on individuals. When living abroad, community building is of the most importance.
Forming a community begins with defining who you are. Have you ever heard of the quote, “We attract who we are?” Knowing who you are determines who you will associate yourself with. Therefore it is crucial to bring your authentic self when you move abroad. The beauty of being outside of your normalcy is that nobody knows you. You are anonymous to the country where you are visiting. Therefore, giving you the freedom to be who you always want to be and have people respond to that person. When you bring your authentic self, you can create a community that reflects who you are or wants to be. You also gain the confidence to return home with a new sense of pride regarding your authentic self.
- Step Out of The Box
One of the great benefits of traveling is allowing yourself to new adventures. Every time I have been abroad, I try to do something I would not normally do. Most of my activities included heights. Although I fear heights, being in new places made me want to try. The new environment permitted me to try new things even if I would not do them again. I took a cable car that allowed me to see Barcelona from the skyline. Although my heart was racing because I was wondering what would happen if we were stuck, being able to do that and enjoy the view gave me a new sense of confidence.
I rely on that experience to push myself to get out of my comfort zone. When we are away from our typical life, we become conditioned to step out of the box because we are already out of our normal comfort zone. You are in a different place with different culture, where people speak various languages. Therefore, why not step out? Instead of asking a French person to speak English, try to speak French to them.
The previous blog post, 5 Reasons to Cy The World, detailed how traveling gives you an unmatched sense of independence and self-agency. Stepping out of the box does not have to be with something big. Small steps such as taking a cooking lesson in Italy or booking a train ticket to Paris on a whim are all acts of stepping out of the box. By stepping out of the box, you also form communities you never thought you would. The best way to meet people and build communities aside from being your authentic self is you must have the spirit of adventure. You must be curious and willing to try new things. You already took the first step by traveling!
- Nomadic Life Can Be Lonely
The last life lesson I have learned through traveling is that it is sometimes lonely to be a nomad. I created this to advocate for young people to have international experiences. Although the benefits of traveling outweigh the challenges, as a good guru, I need to be truthful about the challenges. As you travel and grow into the person you always wanted to be, you will realize that you will lose friends or any toxic person in your circle.
The experience you gain through your travels differentiates you from your pairs. You become a new person with new perspectives. The person you are when you board the plane to leave is not the same person you are when you land back in your native country. Your growth or newfound confidence or self-awareness can become the thing that draws a wedge between you and the community you left at home. The more you travel, the more you learn and build different skills; you become a foreigner to the locals of your native land, and you lose some familiarity that you used to share. That reality causes you to feel lonely. However, the good news is many people share that experience with you. They become part of your community because they understand the duality of your newfound identity.
In conclusion, traveling provides a lot of valuable lessons. Through traveling, we can learn valuable lessons that will stay with us for a lifetime. The experiences we encounter on the road can teach us about different cultures, traditions, and ways of life. We learn to appreciate the beauty and diversity of our world. We become open and embrace differences rather than fear them. We become more adaptable, resourceful, and open-minded. We learn to step out of our comfort zones and take risks, building confidence and resilience. Ultimately, traveling allows us to gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and the world, making us more compassionate, empathetic, and well-rounded individuals.
Thank you for reading. Leave any comments or question you may have.
Xoxo,
Cy
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