People say your 20s are the best years of your life. Your 20s are when you explore who you are, who you want to be, and what trajectories you see your life taking. It is a time to take a retrospective look at where your life has been and where you want it to go. This experience could not be truer for someone like me.
In 19 days, I will officially enter the second half of my 20s. I will celebrate my 26th birthday on October 30th. When I look back on the early part of my 20s, traveling has helped me in my growth story. I cannot imagine what life would have been like and how I would’ve grown if not for travel.
I come from a strict, controlled immigrant family. As a female in a single-parent African home, I always felt the weight of bringing honor to my family. My immigrant family was going to realize their American dream through me. I never felt like my life was my own.
Going to college was the best thing that ever happened to me. It was the first time in my life that I did not have to worry about anything or anyone. I was the only person I had to look after. I had a lot of free time in college to get to meet myself, learn about myself, and know myself.
The four years I spent at university gave me the outlet to become. Through university programs, I won a lot of scholarships that enabled me to travel, and after my first trip abroad, I found myself, and there was not a year that went by since then that I have not gone on a trip. Here are the nine ways traveling has shaped my 20s(thus far.)
- Becoming Open Minded
One of the most vital ways traveling has shaped me is it has allowed me to be open-minded. I learned to listen and learn from others. As young children, our elder teaches us how and what to think. Our 20s are when we take what we learn and decipher these lessons for ourselves. Traveling taught me to be receptive to new ideas that may differ from what I knew or learned in the past. Traveling taught me to meet people where they are and find a compromise. Learning this skill allowed me to show other people grace. It taught me that we all come from different perspectives and that not one person is right over another. Becoming open-minded helped in my friendships, family relations, and romantic relationships.
- Learning New Languages
The second best thing traveling has allowed me to do is learn new languages. As an African, I find it easy to learn a new language because we learn our native languages outside formal schooling. I have picked up my native language, Lingala and Swahili, from listening to my parents and neighbors and watching Congolese movies. That skill has helped me pick other languages without formal education. Although I learned Chinese and Spanish at university, being in China and Spain helped me hone my speaking skills in these languages. When I went to Italy earlier this year, I learned the basics of conversational words. However, when I was in Milan, I had the people at the front desk of my hotel teach me some Italian before leaving for the day. Traveling has allowed me to immerse myself in other cultures by acquiring their languages to facilitate cultural exchange.
- Taking Risks
The best way traveling has shaped my 20s is by teaching me to take risks. Traveling, leaving your comfort zone and normalcy for an environment you do not know, is a risk. If you can survive outside of your country, you can survive anything.
I am usually afraid of heights. I do not like rollercoasters, and I cannot fathom looking down when I am in a high building. However, every time I have been abroad, I have pushed myself to get out of my comfort zone and do something cool even though I fear heights. I went on a roller coaster in France. I saw Barcelona in a cable car and went to the top of one of the tallest buildings in Shanghai. Permitting myself to take these risks has allowed me to push through any discomfort I may have when I return home. I built the mind of “if I survive a cable car in Barcelona, then I should not be afraid to go for this job opportunity.” Being abroad, living a life of no judgment, and taking risks have helped me define not only my 20s but the remainder of my life.
- Becoming Self-Sufficient
One of the things that I have learned is that people define themselves based on adulations they may or may not receive. We determine our worth based on what others think and feel about us. Thus, we are never happy. Before traveling, I presented myself as self-sufficient to my friends and family. However, I unconsciously sought their approval by displaying the perfect image of a daughter, a student, or a friend. When I began to travel, I became self-sufficient to myself. The survival skills I learned in my traveling experience prove that I can rely on myself without needing someone to see or approve it. I did not need my mother to say “good job” for being able to carry five bags of groceries by myself without having a car when I lived in France. Being able to be self-sufficient has allowed me to grow as a person, understanding the power that I have and appreciating it.
- Self-advocating/Self Agency
My favorite skills that I have acquired through traveling are self-advocating and self-agency. People ask me how I navigated the legal system in Europe. I always answer, “I did not have a choice because you cannot ask Europeans for help because they have a PhD in not knowing the answers to your question.” In fairness, I understand that locals do not know about legal proceedings for acquiring a residence card when you are a foreigner because they never had to go through that. Therefore, you must advocate for yourself and find the information you need.
Going through the Belgium administration process helped me hone my self-agency skills. In Belgium, I experienced applying for a residency card without help. When I had an issue with my landlord, I had to seek legal counsel, something I have never done here in the United States. It was tough to go through that in a foreign country during a global pandemic. However, standing up for myself and completing each legal task is one of my proudest accomplishments.
- Culturally Diverse
Another crucial way traveling shaped my 20s is it made me culturally diverse. I have adapted to new cultural identities, communities, and traditions by traveling and interacting with different communities. Going to school in various countries allowed me to embed a variety of schools of thought in my professional life. Speaking many languages, learning different cuisines, and attending schools in multiple countries allows me to connect to various countries and cultures. By being open-minded, I embrace any culture and adapt to living in any country. My ability to pick up and quickly learn a language allows me to immerse myself in diverse cultures.
- Self-Care
One of the skills traveling helped me hone is self-care. When traveling, I understand who I am, my vulnerabilities, my reservations, and my wants and needs. That awareness comes from the fact that I am in a vulnerable environment of being a foreigner, not knowing anyone and not knowing what may or may not happen. Being in that vulnerable state has taught me to check in on myself. I have to listen to my intuition and not rush and do certain things out of my comfort zone. Traveling has opened me up to open up and evaluate my feelings without judgment and being afraid to disappoint myself. That is the best self-care routine one can ever have. Because of traveling and honing the skills to check on my wellness, I have carried those lessons with me even when I return. Coming from a place where I never considered my feelings and was always aware of my responsibility to others, learning to care for myself has been the best gift I have given myself.
- Adventurous
Another way traveling shaped my 20s is it has also made me adventurous. Coming from a controlled and sheltered upbringing, I never thought I would have the courage to undertake the adventures that I have had. I have gone on many solo travel adventures to places where I did not know anyone. Although I don’t like flying, I have been on a dozen flights over the last five years. I have traveled to the States I have always been afraid of traveling to because of news coverage about these places. Because of traveling, I do not live a life of fear anymore. Since I conquered many of my fears and reservations in my travel journeys, I can tackle other challenges coming my way.
- Career Opportunities
One of the best ways of traveling shaped my 20s is by helping find my passion career-wise. When I was six or seven, someone asked me, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” I answered that I wanted to be a humanitarian. I wanted to help people. Knowing I did not understand humanitarianism, my African parents convinced me to be a doctor. I would be a humanitarian in that avenue. Because I knew humanitarianism was the end goal, I was looking forward to becoming a doctor. However, I fell in love with international relations in High School and developed a strong love for it in college. Traveling to countries like China and France gave me an understanding of the various actors in the development and international relations field. Interacting with these actors opened many career opportunities. Because of my travel experiences, I can see myself working from anywhere and being well-adapted to take on any challenges.
As I enter the second half of my twenties, I am grateful that I began my twenties traveling. The lessons and skills I gained through traveling allowed me to become and define who I wanted to be personally and professionally. As an African girl who lived a sheltered life, traveling enabled me to leave my comfort zone. It taught me to love myself, listen to my intuition, show myself grace, and build a foundation that will last a lifetime. When I speak to college students or young people, I always advocate that they participate in a study abroad program at least once. I hope you embark on a similar adventure and that your 20s are the decade of self-discovery, self-care, and adventure.
Until next time,
Safe travels!
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